Why do I always feel like I did something wrong… even when I try to do everything right?
Sometimes it’s referred to as “Catholic guilt.” It’s that lingering sense of guilt or self-blame experienced by individuals, often stemming from their upbringing or cultural background in the Catholic faith or another high-control religious tradition. It can manifest as feeling guilty even for minor mistakes or as a general sense of unease about one’s actions, influenced by the emphasis on sin, confession, and moral responsibility.
Religious guilt and shame can lead to a host of emotional and psychological distress that can seep far outside of religious settings. If you’re noticing themes of religious language, guilt, or shame coming up, you deserve a compassionate space to talk about it.
Folks who grew up in high-control religions often feel like they did something bad because of the intense indoctrination and strict moral codes imposed by these religions. High-control religions often instill a strong sense of guilt and shame in their followers for any perceived transgressions or deviations from prescribed beliefs and behaviors.
Here are a few reasons why people from this background may feel this way.
Fear of punishment: High-control religions typically emphasize strict adherence to rules and teachings, often accompanied by the threat of punishment or divine retribution for disobedience. This fear of punishment can lead individuals to feel guilty even for minor infractions.
Social pressure: These religions often create tight-knit communities where conformity is valued and deviation is frowned upon. The fear of social ostracism or rejection can lead individuals to internalize feelings of guilt for not meeting the expectations of the group.
Ingrained beliefs: Growing up in a high-control religious environment can result in deeply ingrained beliefs about sin, morality, and personal responsibility. Even after leaving the religion, individuals may carry these beliefs and continue to feel guilty for actions that they were taught were wrong.
Lack of autonomy: In high-control religions, individuals may have limited autonomy and decision-making power. This lack of agency can contribute to feelings of guilt and self-blame, as individuals may believe they are responsible for their actions even when they were influenced or coerced by external factors.
Cognitive dissonance: In high-control religions, individuals may have limited autonomy and decision-making power. This lack of agency can contribute to feelings of guilt and self-blame, as individuals may believe they are responsible for their actions even when they were influenced or coerced by external factors.
Provider call to action:
Recognize where spiritual guilt and weaponized religious beliefs are coming up.
Validate and name the pain.
Avoid writing off spiritual guilt as cognitive distortions, as they can be evidence of deeply traumatic experiences for clients who have grown up in high-control religious settings.
Invite clients to explore and validate their authentic emotional experiences, providing a safe space to express doubts or conflicts about spiritual beliefs, and giving space to explore their authentic experiences and story.