Do you even want to be healed? And other harmful messages I got from the church regarding my mental health struggles

Let’s start by defining some terms:

Spiritual bypassing: The use of spiritual beliefs and practices to dismiss a person’s struggles, particularly emotional challenges, as illusory or insignificant. It can be used to urge someone to soley rely on spiritual practices instead of addressing underlying issues. This can create an environment where genuine needs are overlooked or invalidated in favor of spiritual ideals.

Prosperity gospel: the christianized version of capitalism and the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” hyper-individualistic mentality.) It’s the belief system within certain Christian circles that emphasizes material wealth, health, beauty and success as signs of God’s favor and blessings.

For folks who have grown up in the church, it can be a frustratingly common experience to hear things like:

• Maybe you have unconfessed sin in your life?

• Have you tried fasting, prayer, reading the Bible, etc.?

• You need to be talking to your priest/pastor/spiritual director/etc. about this.

• Just pray harder and/or have more faith.

• You’re not praying/believing hard enough to be healed.

• God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.

• Your mental illness is a result of demonic influence, you need deliverance.

• “You just need to trust God more.”

• “You just need to take every thought captive.”

• “Other people have it worse than you; you should be grateful.”

I’m confident I missed so many different examples. And it’s bullshit.

Intentions aside, statements and cliches from religious or spiritual figures like these towards folks who are disabled and/or experiencing mental health challenges are deeply harmful and rooted in ableism.

Here’s what I mean…

• “Have you confessed your sins? Maybe there’s unconfessed sin in your life.”

  • Assumes that there‘s something wrong with you. You are the cause of your suffering.

• “Your mental illness is a result of demonic influence, you need deliverance.” OR “You need to be talking to your priest/pastor/spiritual director/etc. about this.”

  • Assumes that disability and mental health challenges are exclusively a spiritual issue and rejects “secular” interventions and approaches. May cause shame if a person wants to seek support that is outside of their spiritual or religious tradition.

• “God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”

  • Can minimize the pain and intensity of a person’s experiences through spiritual bypassing.

• “You’re just not reading your Bible (or attending church or other spiritual practice) enough.” OR “Have you tried fasting and prayer? Maybe that will bring you healing.”

  • Read: you are suffering because you aren’t doing enough or performing spiritual practice in an adequate quantity.

• “Just pray harder and/or have more faith.” OR “You just need to trust God more.” OR “You’re not praying/believing hard enough to be healed.” OR “You’re not praying the right way.”

  • Read: you are suffering because you aren’t doing enough or performing spiritual practice in an adequate quantity and/or quality.

• “You just need to take every thought captive.” OR “Other people have it worse than you; you should be grateful.”

  • Spiritual bypassing, revisited

These sorts of statements, intentions aside, are rooted in the belief that something is wrong with the person that is struggling. They they are a problem to be fixed. That they are somehow spiritually deficient. That disability or challenges are a sign that God is displeased with someone. Unlearning these messages is painful and hard and can be a key part of healing after religious trauma.

For therapists/care providers, here are some things we can do:

• Recognize where spiritual bypassing and weaponized prosperity gospel beliefs are coming up.

• Validate and name spiritual bypassing.

• Avoid writing off spiritual bypassing as cognitive distortions, as they can be evidence of deeply traumatic experiences for clients who have grown up in high-control religious settings.

• Invite clients to explore and validate their authentic emotional experiences, providing a safe space to express doubts or conflicts about spiritual beliefs, and giving space to explore their authentic experiences and story.